Not good.

So, it's still an increasingly uphill battle. That gym I had access to? The job was outsourced before I could use it even once.

The exercise ball and resistance band get only the occasional use. The ball is a replacement for a chair, so it's more passive than active. The band has been only when I really feel buggered enough to pick it up, which - to be honest - hasn't been much. The scale gets use, though. I'm up to 450, and feeling more desperate than ever.

Remember last year, around the time I started this, when I was all gung-ho to try to get into Biggest Loser? It's just about time for them again - but this year, I'm skipping it. I could accept skipping school last time; this time, I'd rather not have to wait a full year again to wade through the waitlist for the class(es) I need.

I've still got the bike a friend gave me. There's either a leak in one of the tires, or it was just low and I never noticed - or sitting on it compresses it more than I thought it would. I've got a pump, though, so once it's refilled, and I stop loafing long enough to take it out, I'll maybe post how it went. At the very least, it's right next to the front door, so there's no way for me to forget about it.

Changing. Again. Still.

So I'm still striving. As usual, going solo has proven to be difficult. It's still far too easy to just not try. But I'm taking measures to facilitate easier at-home exercising.

For starters, I purchased an exercise ball, 65cm. There's no space in my room for it, so it sits in the living room for those moments when I get the urge to use it. So far, when I have used it, it's been pretty fun.

One of my biggest problems has been just not knowing how overweight I am. Normal scales tend to not go high enough. So I bought one that will, rated to 550lb. I know I'm not that high, but as with everything else, I like a bit of leeway. At the same time, I bought one of those fitness bands. That, at least, definitely will fit in my room, and of course anywhere else I might be, so I'll have no excuse to not use it.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it already, and since I'm clearly not going to check before posting about it, I'll add this: a close friend, and all around terrific person, gifted me with a bike several months ago. I've been waiting for the weather to be decent before taking it out, and since it looks like that's finally become the case, now I'm putting it off until a day when I'm not working. Before handing it off, he'd put super-heavy-duty tubes in it, and I bought a seat that's comfortable for me. So all that's waiting is nice weather, and me without more excuses.

Also also, I might suddenly have great access to a gym. I started a new job recently, and literally down the hall from the office I work in, is an employees-only gym. I'm not going to divulge who I'm working for, or why there's an employee gym in the building, but I'm not looking this particular horse in the mouth. I just need to actually catch my supervisor while he's around and talk to him about it. And then it's just a matter of showing up several hours early for work so I can make use of it.

Anyways. That's that. I'll spare pictures this time, because nothing not worthy has happened since the last batch. I suppose I'll try to post another video at some point; probably once the scale and fitness band arrive.

It's a brand new day, and the sun is high

So. New year. Supposed to be a new me, too, right? Well, maybe.

Yes, I've strayed. Quite a bit, at that. I've got too many excuses and too few results. Today was another one of those days where I realized a few things:

• I've been drinking far too much pop lately. And far too quickly, at that.
• Home cooked meals are not an excuse to over-eat.
• I've fallen on fast food whenever I leave the house. Not only unhealthy for me, but unhealthy for my wallet.

One more thing I realized today, though, is that there's a lot more space in my livingroom than I've been thinking there is. And when all the Xmas stuff is put away, there'll be a bit more. And I've been feeling the capoeira itch again. I might not be able to make it to anything organized, but I'm gonna ease back into practicing at home.

Baby steps.

The Biggest Loser Loser

Yes, it's been quite a while since the last update. While I wish I could say it was for a good reason, there really isn't one.

Rather than letting me know I wasn't chosen, I found out The Biggest Loser passed on me through their casting Facebook page. So I'm still here, doing what I've been doing since before applying. And since then, it hasn't been as much as when I first started doing this.

There are moments were it feels kinda shameful to know I'm not losing much weight, if any at all, because of the lack of means. Being poor doesn't lend itself well (or at all) to a healthy lifestyle. Exercise is what it has been since leaving this began, but the diet hasn't improved at all. There are tiny victories, though; sometimes there will be low/reduced/no-fat alternatives that are the same price as the normal stuff, and the last couple shopping trips, wheat bread has been on sale for less than the white stuff. But it still doesn't feel like it's much.

It feels like I've gained back, and then some, whatever I might have lost. My belt is tight, back to the hole drilled into it when I first got it (as opposed to the holes drilled into it when I was active in capoeira). My very good friend Peckham is still looking out for me, though. He's decided to give me an old mountain bike of his, equipped with super-thick inner tubes. He knew they'd need to be super-thick, 'cause while a group of us were vacationing together in the Upper Peninsula, we attempted to go riding together, and the bike I was on - the tires actually exploded. I didn't get very far from the cottage when it happened, either. It was extremely embarrassing for me, even if I didn't fully let it show at the time.

But I digress. Peckham gifted me a bike, with super-thick inner tubes. I purchased a noseless wide saddle seat, 'cause the regular seat hurts my butt something fierce. There's no where to put a tire pump, but the lock is attached; I'm planning to go on a test ride tonight. The way I figure it, 2 laps around the neighborhood equals a little over a mile, so I'll see how many laps I can do before anything bursts - myself, or the bike.

BL Video - rejected

After not getting the call-back after the initial interview, my only option was to create a video for Biggest Loser, and email it to them. I did one with my brother, but then decided that if we were chosen as a team, that having him leave for however long it took would be too hard on his family. So I made a solo-video. It took me 2 tries to get one I liked enough to submit. What I'm posting here is the first, failed attempt. The second is submitted, along with the paperwork and pictures, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping they choose me.

FAIR WARNING

This is another instance where my shirt is off. If this makes you uncomfortable or uneasy, do not click through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrZ5wi4OXSk

Nerves

The Biggest Loser casting is today. I'm nervous.

I convinced my brother and his wife to join me. It's starting to seem likely that, if they need partners, my brother could probably join me (one job will give him leave; he still needs to ask the other job). I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that they won't be doing partners/teams, though, so that he doesn't have to miss all that work.

I'll edit this post when we get back and let you folks know how it went.

UPDATE

Well, I think it went well. We got there just in time to jump ahead of literally everyone. I didn't mention it here, but I got a VIP pass, which let me skip the line and get to the interview faster. We even somehow jumped ahead of the rest of the VIPs there.

It was a group interview; me, my brother, his wife, and 4 other people, briefly giving info (when prompted) to one of the trainers, I think. Some guy named DJ. We're supposed to hear back from them tonight, but I haven't yet, so I'm guessing they're passing on me for now. The next option is to make a tape and submit it, and hope they pick me from that.

UPDATE

So via Facebook, I have confirmation that we're not getting a callback. At approx. 10:45pm, they posted that they'd finished with the callbacks for NJ and MI. The next step is making and submitting a video, and being so sickeningly charming that they pick me/him/us that way.

The Biggest Loser

I'm going to this. Some people may think it's just a gimmick, somehow akin to Jerry Springer, but I see it as an opportunity. I'm clearly having trouble with my diet here, basically on my own. I think this could be a fantastic opportunity to gain a bit of knowledge, loads of help, and a chance to win a butt load of money.

I've already done a pre-application application. The next step is to attend this thing and do an interview, then hope to get called back. There's a lot of hope pinned on this, considering how great it could be if I were selected. But it's thoroughly tempered with plenty of "probably not".

I'm still keeping up on my exercise - I've moved the Wii into my room, so I don't have to worry about people being asleep to stop me from working out. It's working again, too; although it only comes in as black and white on my TV, it seems to be working better somehow.