Prying open my third eye

It's been a little over two years since I've posted here. Mostly because I forgot the account name, and its password. But I found them, so I'm back. Let's start with an update.

Since I'm forced to have insurance now, I've decided I'm going to use it, so I've been to a general practitioner a couple times. They do a bunch of bloodwork and urine tests for new patients, and my results were surprisingly good. Everything was within a healthy range, save for two things - platelets and triglycerides. But the doc said they were so minimally elevated that there was no need to be worried about them.

I get weighed every time I go in, and have my blood pressure checked - standard stuff. My weigh-in on the first visit? 500, plus some decimal. So I've finally sunk to the quarter-ton low. And my blood pressure was worryingly high; stage 2 hypertension, very nearly stage 3. So I'm taking blood pressure medication now, so I don't stroke out in my sleep or something. For the second visit, I was at 487, and my blood pressure was markedly lower, but still - both the numbers are toodamnhigh.jpg

Changes have been made since then. I had switched to diet a while ago, but I was still drinking kinda a lot of it. Well now that's been scaled back. I'm pushing for healthier menus and ingredients at home (mostly doing our own meat processing). I have a sationary pedal set-thingy, so I can be moving while I'm working. And, most recently, we got a dog. She's a bit nervous of me, but she warms right up when I take her for a walk. She's back to being shy when we get home, but I think it's getting better.

Not proud of myself

The self-effacing thing is becoming a theme, isn't it? Warranted, considering I've gained more since the last post, which has been far too long ago. I'm up to roughly 478 now. I've been hovering around this weight for a couple months, so at least I'm not gaining anymore. But it also means I haven't lost any of it.

Around Xmas, I bought myself an Xbox 360 with Kinect. I also purchased Dance Central 1/2/3 - I've played them at a friend's house before, and not only are they fun, but it's a great workout. It's the sort of thing I originally wanted the Wii for, only much better.

But then I got a job. And school started again. And I started making excuses as to why I didn't have time for the exercise. These excuses are why I am where I am today, but I keep making them.

Earlier this week, I decided that I did, in fact, have enough time, and that I wanted to get some of that dancing in. Load everything up.. there's an update that needs to be installed. Grab my controller so I can get through that.. it no longer syncs with the console. So it's basically an expensive paperweight now until I can figure out how to correct this.

But that didn't stop me from exercising that day. Silly me remembered that I trained capoeira for a year, and although I've gained 125 pounds since the peak of my learning and can't roll around like I once could, there's always the ginga, as well as the easier kicks. So I did that, for about an hour. And I was reminded why I love capoeira so much, and how much I genuinely miss being immersed in it. But I'm truly thankful it's still with me. And since there's no setup involved for it (the living room is always obstruction-free), I'm going to have a much harder time coming up with excuses to not do it. And one of these days, I know I'll make it back to one (or more) of the groups near me.

Not good.

So, it's still an increasingly uphill battle. That gym I had access to? The job was outsourced before I could use it even once.

The exercise ball and resistance band get only the occasional use. The ball is a replacement for a chair, so it's more passive than active. The band has been only when I really feel buggered enough to pick it up, which - to be honest - hasn't been much. The scale gets use, though. I'm up to 450, and feeling more desperate than ever.

Remember last year, around the time I started this, when I was all gung-ho to try to get into Biggest Loser? It's just about time for them again - but this year, I'm skipping it. I could accept skipping school last time; this time, I'd rather not have to wait a full year again to wade through the waitlist for the class(es) I need.

I've still got the bike a friend gave me. There's either a leak in one of the tires, or it was just low and I never noticed - or sitting on it compresses it more than I thought it would. I've got a pump, though, so once it's refilled, and I stop loafing long enough to take it out, I'll maybe post how it went. At the very least, it's right next to the front door, so there's no way for me to forget about it.

Changing. Again. Still.

So I'm still striving. As usual, going solo has proven to be difficult. It's still far too easy to just not try. But I'm taking measures to facilitate easier at-home exercising.

For starters, I purchased an exercise ball, 65cm. There's no space in my room for it, so it sits in the living room for those moments when I get the urge to use it. So far, when I have used it, it's been pretty fun.

One of my biggest problems has been just not knowing how overweight I am. Normal scales tend to not go high enough. So I bought one that will, rated to 550lb. I know I'm not that high, but as with everything else, I like a bit of leeway. At the same time, I bought one of those fitness bands. That, at least, definitely will fit in my room, and of course anywhere else I might be, so I'll have no excuse to not use it.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it already, and since I'm clearly not going to check before posting about it, I'll add this: a close friend, and all around terrific person, gifted me with a bike several months ago. I've been waiting for the weather to be decent before taking it out, and since it looks like that's finally become the case, now I'm putting it off until a day when I'm not working. Before handing it off, he'd put super-heavy-duty tubes in it, and I bought a seat that's comfortable for me. So all that's waiting is nice weather, and me without more excuses.

Also also, I might suddenly have great access to a gym. I started a new job recently, and literally down the hall from the office I work in, is an employees-only gym. I'm not going to divulge who I'm working for, or why there's an employee gym in the building, but I'm not looking this particular horse in the mouth. I just need to actually catch my supervisor while he's around and talk to him about it. And then it's just a matter of showing up several hours early for work so I can make use of it.

Anyways. That's that. I'll spare pictures this time, because nothing not worthy has happened since the last batch. I suppose I'll try to post another video at some point; probably once the scale and fitness band arrive.

It's a brand new day, and the sun is high

So. New year. Supposed to be a new me, too, right? Well, maybe.

Yes, I've strayed. Quite a bit, at that. I've got too many excuses and too few results. Today was another one of those days where I realized a few things:

• I've been drinking far too much pop lately. And far too quickly, at that.
• Home cooked meals are not an excuse to over-eat.
• I've fallen on fast food whenever I leave the house. Not only unhealthy for me, but unhealthy for my wallet.

One more thing I realized today, though, is that there's a lot more space in my livingroom than I've been thinking there is. And when all the Xmas stuff is put away, there'll be a bit more. And I've been feeling the capoeira itch again. I might not be able to make it to anything organized, but I'm gonna ease back into practicing at home.

Baby steps.

The Biggest Loser Loser

Yes, it's been quite a while since the last update. While I wish I could say it was for a good reason, there really isn't one.

Rather than letting me know I wasn't chosen, I found out The Biggest Loser passed on me through their casting Facebook page. So I'm still here, doing what I've been doing since before applying. And since then, it hasn't been as much as when I first started doing this.

There are moments were it feels kinda shameful to know I'm not losing much weight, if any at all, because of the lack of means. Being poor doesn't lend itself well (or at all) to a healthy lifestyle. Exercise is what it has been since leaving this began, but the diet hasn't improved at all. There are tiny victories, though; sometimes there will be low/reduced/no-fat alternatives that are the same price as the normal stuff, and the last couple shopping trips, wheat bread has been on sale for less than the white stuff. But it still doesn't feel like it's much.

It feels like I've gained back, and then some, whatever I might have lost. My belt is tight, back to the hole drilled into it when I first got it (as opposed to the holes drilled into it when I was active in capoeira). My very good friend Peckham is still looking out for me, though. He's decided to give me an old mountain bike of his, equipped with super-thick inner tubes. He knew they'd need to be super-thick, 'cause while a group of us were vacationing together in the Upper Peninsula, we attempted to go riding together, and the bike I was on - the tires actually exploded. I didn't get very far from the cottage when it happened, either. It was extremely embarrassing for me, even if I didn't fully let it show at the time.

But I digress. Peckham gifted me a bike, with super-thick inner tubes. I purchased a noseless wide saddle seat, 'cause the regular seat hurts my butt something fierce. There's no where to put a tire pump, but the lock is attached; I'm planning to go on a test ride tonight. The way I figure it, 2 laps around the neighborhood equals a little over a mile, so I'll see how many laps I can do before anything bursts - myself, or the bike.

BL Video - rejected

After not getting the call-back after the initial interview, my only option was to create a video for Biggest Loser, and email it to them. I did one with my brother, but then decided that if we were chosen as a team, that having him leave for however long it took would be too hard on his family. So I made a solo-video. It took me 2 tries to get one I liked enough to submit. What I'm posting here is the first, failed attempt. The second is submitted, along with the paperwork and pictures, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping they choose me.

FAIR WARNING

This is another instance where my shirt is off. If this makes you uncomfortable or uneasy, do not click through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrZ5wi4OXSk