The first look.

I once made a promise to myself that, should I hit a certain weight, I would do everything I could to make myself healthy, and stay there. I thought of it as a sort of anti-goal, something that I never wanted to be. And until recently, I had been succeeding. I was close, sure, but I never crossed that line. That changed late last week.

I hit 400 lbs, and could no longer ignore my complacency with obesity.

This now is the journal of my journey. An adventure of weight loss. I have severely limited means to accomplish this goal. But what I have is an iron will. I'm also a man of my word; when I make a promise, I do everything in my power to keep it. And, for the life of me, this is a promise I can't break. On this blog I'll post videos and pictures of myself, to document my progress. It won't always be a daily update, but I will update what I consider to be frequently. While the videos will be shoulders-up, the pictures will be everything else.

Consider this a disclaimer and a warning. If you're uncomfortable seeing an obese bare torso, leave immediately.

 

This is how I normally look at home: very comfortable. Scrub pants (drawstring waist) and a plain white t-shirt. These are the same clothes I wear under everything when I'm out and about. Over top of this will be some other shirt, and a pair of jeans.

 

This is the me I hide. This is what I've become disgusted with. I want this to shrivel up to a fraction of what it currently is. If I could be literally half the man I am now, I think I could, for the first time in my life, feel secure about the way I look.

I have a long way to go, and I want to give myself 4 years for this goal. I think it's very reasonable, losing 200 lbs in 4 years. It's a mostly arbitrary number, but it also kinda gives some leeway; I'm returning to college soon, with a focus in culinary arts. That's going to be a hefty complication, so 4 years should give me enough slack to make up for discrepancies, while being close enough that I don't return to a complacent mindset.

In an effort for total transparency, I took plenty of pictures of the meal I cooked tonight. As often as I can remember to, I'll repeat this process every time I cook. I think tonight's meal was reasonably healthy: Homemade Chicken Pot Pie. Unfortunately, all but 2 components of the ingredients had no nutrition information, so I can't accurately say how good it was. As for taste, it was delicious.

Now I'd like to make some acknowledgments. The quality is terrible, but I have to make do with what I have: